Gaslighting lies on a spectrum. Some gaslighters do not know they’re gaslighting and are largely unaware of how their conduct is affecting the opposite individual. However some gaslighters are very properly conscious of what they’re doing, and it’s accomplished with intention and with out regret. Ought to the individual have interaction in further behaviors that fall underneath the spectrum of a narcissistic personality disorder, then the chance of them deliberately gaslighting you is way higher.
People who find themselves coping with gaslighting typically surprise concerning the individual’s motives. If the gaslighter does not know they’re gaslighting, it offers them a way of hope. Primarily, folks on the receiving finish try to gauge how a lot endurance they need to have with their abuser. For instance: Perhaps if they do not know what they’re doing, I can present them, and the dialog may be extra productive.
However importantly, what would really change for those who knew what their motive was? It could assist you study to navigate the state of affairs extra skillfully (for instance, for those who knew that their motive was to trigger doubt, then that will empower you to face agency in your reality), however it’s not essential to know their motives so as to set boundaries.