I was 5 days into my COVID-19 analysis—about 9 days into self-imposed isolation and freshly recovering from a fever that spiked so excessive that I assumed I’d die alone in my junior one-bedroom residence in Los Angeles—when President Trump introduced his personal coronavirus check leads to a single tweet.
His optimistic analysis was nonetheless stunning, regardless of how adamant he’s been about not wearing masks in public. And that one tweet was a catalyst for a sequence of social media posts that, as somebody who was within the midst of a battle for her personal life, had been each weirdly gratifying and a whole nightmare.
I struggled. Did I’ve compassion for the president, somebody who was most likely the explanation I used to be on this mess? Did my mates and family members take into consideration me in any respect as they flippantly posted concerning the president presumably succumbing to the very virus I too was combating?
Reality be advised, I used to be lastly coming down from the worst of my expertise with the virus when Trump’s analysis started dominating the information cycle. Earlier than testing optimistic for COVID-19, I had about seven months of assorted levels of stay-at-home orders to consider what I’d do if I used to be ever identified.
I advised my mates that I wouldn’t inform my dad and mom till after I used to be higher—that I used to be 3,000 miles away and didn’t need them to fret. However on the day I acquired my optimistic check consequence, holding again tears, my mom was the primary and solely individual I known as.
I had joked concerning the exhibits I’d lastly binge watch if I used to be house with out having to work for 2 weeks. I’d begin Recreation of Thrones, or perhaps Breaking Unhealthy. However the actuality was, on my sickest days with COVID-19, I used to be fortunate if I might maintain my eyes open for greater than 30 minutes at a time earlier than excessive fatigue took over and lulled me into one other hours-long slumber.
Bodily, COVID-19 was the worst of instances. I’m advised I lucked out by not having gastrointestinal signs. However the ache, the loss of smell and taste, the fever and chills, the nights I used to be so out of it that I hallucinated my family members being there with me. They had been surprising and, at instances, excruciating. My face harm a lot that I known as my diagnosing doctor and requested whether or not I ought to go to the emergency room, and he was clear that I used to be solely to name 911 if I had hassle respiration.
By Friday, as soon as lots of these bodily signs had subsided, I used to be scuffling with the aftermath. I used to be scared. I’d examine individuals who had lingering signs lengthy after the fevers and chills went away. I used to be confused and had hassle finishing easy duties like texting mates again or pouring a cup of tea. And I wasn’t certain if I used to be actually in an upswing, or simply quickly feeling higher as I had for brief moments between my worst episodes. I used to be in that state when Trump’s announcement went viral. Simply popping out of a days-long stupor, confused, and clinging to the hope that this was the day issues had been going to be higher.
I made a decision to take a break from Twitter for the weekend. I knew my family members had been warranted in feeling vindicated by the president’s analysis. And I didn’t wish to internalize their ideas. It was not my fault that I bought COVID-19. I, not like the president, was cautious. I did my perfect to maintain myself and others secure.
I logged again into social media on Monday. Although nonetheless experiencing some fatigue and confusion, I used to be feeling so significantly better. I tweeted about being able to get a unfavourable check consequence in order that I might be round my small social bubble once more. I used to be blissful, relieved even.
I’d managed to keep away from most of the president’s nonsensical actions throughout the weekend, however simply as I used to be opening the soup my mom despatched me (the primary meal I used to be in a position to end in days), I noticed his newest tweet.
“I will be leaving the great Walter Reed Medical Center at the moment at 6:30 P.M,” he advised his 87 million followers on Twitter. “Feeling actually good! Don’t be afraid of Covid. Don’t let it dominate your life. We’ve got developed, underneath the Trump Administration, some actually nice medication & information. I really feel higher than I did 20 years in the past!”
It was infuriating. I had been the sickest I can keep in mind being in my life and the president of the US had basically stated it was no massive deal. He touted drugs and knowledge that were not available to me as I cried in a puddle of my very own sweat and known as my physician for assist. Tylenol and Flonase had been all that I used to be provided. I used to be solely to go to the hospital if I couldn’t breathe. I used to be actually alone for the rest.
This president, a person who knew that more than 200,000 Americans were not as lucky as myself, had the audacity to say that he was feeling higher than ever. It’s insulting and heartbreaking in ways in which I’m certain I’ll be discussing with a therapist sometime. As President Trump parades himself in entrance of cameras, I can’t assist however take into consideration his supporters who will take his habits and his phrases as a license to renew business as usual at the expense of human lives.
COVID-19 survivors, victims, and their family members deserve higher. We’ve deserved higher from the beginning of this pandemic, when he continually “downplayed” its severity, and we particularly deserve it now that we all know what we all know.